schtuck

After quite a morale-boosting second day, I'm no less drained today.
Loads to learn still, but thank God for the inspiration He's been giving me!

Right now I'm working on a poster, and my brains are on the verge
of imploding because I just can't seem to come up with an idea
that I'm satisfied with. The tagline and TVC is done by Alex already,
but the posters aren't. I'm quite happy with some of the
copy that I've come up with, but that's more for the radio ad I guess.
Argh... It sucks sitting here and staring at scribbles and blank paper.
I think I'm letting the TVC stifle me.


Humdeedum. Pray tell, fellow friends,
how's the air up there for you?

P.S. Happy 20th birthday, the brother! (28/03) Even though you weren't home the whole day................. -strangles-

Today in one word:

BRAIN-DRAIN.


So that's 3 major campaigns for me to work on for the rest of my attachment.
I've never racked my brains this hard for a long time. Not this hard.
I K.O.-ed on the bus as soon as I got a seat for myself.

I think I slept with my mouth hanging open slightly, but I didn't care because my mind was too tired to care. Rawr. I shall go sleep after my bath.

Here's to many other tiring days!

All the best for your attachments!

CHEEERS.

Absorb, absorb, absorb.

Here I am, seated at an iMac (sob they didn't give me a G4)
at the Creatives on (once) a five-man strong Islet now
christianed "La Isla Bernita" via a mass email by the HR Manager.
Rawr, the most common mis-spelling of my name, but oh well.

Doing proof-reading and reading up on information for a certain
upcoming campaign... It's pro-bono, and Mr. Alex the Mental Mentor (heehee) is stressing me out 4 hours into the first day of copywriting.

But dang, it's so cool!

mehh

Okay so my results aren't fantastic,
but I guess I got what I deserved. Got up at 8,
glanced at my results, went back to sleep. Hurhur.
Well, I didn't fail anything, and that's something to thank God for!

SCENE got a B, and it was 'generally well-written'.
Fine by me, since... I shall not elaborate lalala. But darn it, I had totally given some subject-verb agreements a miss because... Aiyah never mind lah. It's over already.

Things are moving so fast!

Ha, hopefully my work will be shown on a
screen/building/whatnot near you..
Soon.

Not telling what it is though, sorry for the no-show!
Blame contracts.

Portfolio and late nights, here I come.


Everytime I start to crumble
A facet is defined and they take a tumble.

Tonight

Liang, Dan and Jenn have just shown me how little of God's word
and knowledge I actually know, and how of little thirst I am to know
more and more of what He is teaching! There is still so, so much out
there to find out! But the knowledge I'm receiving now never fails
to amaze me by the day.

All the teachings of the Bible - formulated through centuries by different people at different stages of their lives, yet steadfast and unable to be torn down of its congruency with each other! And what it reveals each time is something new, and still never fails to amaze me! It is truly God's love letter, of discipline and admonishment (all these in grace and love), and the surest truth. Always go back to the Bible no matter what preachers may preach and teachers may teach.

As I walked up the hill home after parting ways with Liang, the only thoughts that went through my mind were about where I will stand. In Christ, during judgement.

Where will I be in heaven? Will I be exalted with the angels, or will I be looked upon as lukewarm, with God's disappointed face turned from me?

I don't want to be a NATO (No Action, Talk Only) anymore. I don't want to be a top advertising copywriter if it brings me further from God. I don't want to earn lots of money nor live in a penthouse, nor desire to break speed limits in the Evo or Subaru that I've always been eyeing and lusting after if I can't secure my place in heaven. I don't want to be a successful, money-making-power-wielding woman if I can't even work out my salvation which is going to be for eternity, and staring at my face right now. I don't want my 130++ IQ if the way I use it makes me a fool in God's eyes.

What is Your will for me, Oh God? So many burdens, but none for me to choose at my whims and fancies.

But do let me solidify my relationship with You! I pray that I will seek after His word more fervently, allowing it to manifest itself in my life, and that I may be used for His greatness,
by Him, and in His will.

I don't want to be the foolish man building my house on sand no longer!

Come live in me,
all my life - take over,
come breathe in me,
and I will rise on eagle's wings.
Here I am waiting,
Abide in me I pray...

Post no. 888

...Anywhere else?

ally

Someone whom I had a brief debate on 'maturity' with a couple of
weeks ago got me thinking - going through a lot does not mean maturity.
Like how age does not equate the supposed maturity make-up of a person.

Maturity is almost un-quantifiable.

My surmised personal gauge of schema is moulded by how
a person reacts and responds to any situation, daily or leviathan.

Sigh. How much do we claim to know and yet behave the exact opposite!
It's all about choice. It is not impossible. But it is, admittedly, easier to follow what the heart wants. But the heart is selfish.

Unselfish people get hurt, but unselfishness should be expectant of the consequences. And acceptant. Then that will not be agenda.

So it leans down to moral maturity, which is what I think will overcome.
But where do morals stand today?


( Pardon the scanty post, trying to put thoughts into words are failing me somehow tonight. )

When the Truth waylays the Lies -
Thank God.
It made me stronger to resist, just as it was weakening.

They Were/Are Awesome.

L'arc~en~ciel.

pollen

The elections are coming up. We should take this chance to
write in to the papers and forums to ask or gripe or complain about
everything possible so that the gahmen will give us more promises and
(hopefully) break more. Because either way we benefit - more goodies
and benefits will come our way, or the issue of Singaporeans being
'apolitical' and nonchalant will then be solved because most Singaporeans
are a demanding bunch, especially where matters of the self are concerned.

See? Discussing apolitics is akin to discussing politics.

Dang, I should go back to being apolitical.
Good night.

Et tu

Treetops spinning in the court of Noir
Twice a glimpse of a shadow in the cornea
A change of colour; uniquely a sinister gold
Pressed against so gently in the crease of the fold
Blow by blow, mustered up some pluck
By and by, it then lost the wheels on the truck
Post-mortem with a vine so cru'
But why does it just have to be you?


Meaningless, meaningless.
Everything is meaningless.

JAM

Okay, some updates on band news:

o.r.e
The A-B-Conk (hahahaha) did a nice original that Conk wrote yesterday.
My right leg just wasn't listening to me for 4/5 of the whole session. Booho(nk)o.
I - GASP - haven't been practising!!! Sigh. The effects were showing...
Stiff wrists, bad stroking, disobedient legs. Felt quite demoralised actually.

Need to improve on the cleanliness of my drumming, too. Loads to do...
But a drumset should be an impossible object to ever make an appearance in my house
because I suspect my mom doesn't want my sister to get so involved in drums
that she'll neglect the piano. Like yours truly. Hmph.

s.i.r/screamfront (don't ask why all the abbrevations make up actual words)

Okay, the two bands are going to be combining to become a five-piece band. We should most likely be retaining the name Subtlety in Red. Heh. I won't be drumming (which I did for s.i.r), nor playing keyboards (for screamfront). I'll be... Singing. Stress lah! I have no idea how to ..Front. A. Band. >.<' See how it goes I guess. Jamming a grand total of 3 times this week! Going to the Observatory's gig this Sunday (screams for Ah-dum hahahaha)... Which means, :D I'm flat broke. :D Starting work in 2 weeks! Wheeeee.

chara

I felt extremely blessed at tonight's Bible study.
Thinking back on what emotional rollercoasters that I've been
through the past 2 years, I'm ever so blessed to have the Holy Spirit in
me, admonishing me and never allowing my faith in God to waver.


If we love God, we should be keeping His commandments. (John 14:15) And the Word says to humble ourselves and keep working out (not for) our salvation with fear. The ongoing process of santification of our lives.

Cecilia Perh is such an inspiration. I want to be like her! A sharp, logical 'disputer' who takes the most certain form of evidence of Christianity - God's Word - as her sword against the devilry of the world.


2 Corinthians 3:2 - You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody.

Here's a poem on this verse by an anonymous writer to share:

You are writing a Gospel,
A chapter each day

By the deeds that you do
And the words that you say

Men read what you write
whether faithful or true

Just what is the Gospel
according to you?

dvc

Crack it - before you watch it.

antimacassarWhere I wanna be, right now.

Gotta push down that irritant in me which screams 'improvement' and yet drives me to the edge of emotional-cliffs if there's no sign of it. Gotta push down that irritant in me which puts sensitivity into overdrive and threatens my engine on a non-existent blow-off valve. Gotta push down... This feeling.

ARGH I hate to complain. But I realise complaining or a show (note: display) of weakness is something which most girls put to great use to get the attention of the guy they are trying to attract. Something which I can never pull off, and don't want to even attempt.

Here's a question I need enlightenment (this time I don't want to rely on my own judgement, it's too tiring and disgusting):

Does it really work?

Golly.

Now put that thought off your head, young lady.

Oops, sorry.
I shall continue being an iron malady.

soiree

A rather weak attempt at sprucing up my blog, but no matter -
I still like it bright and clean. I am, admittedly, going through a bit
of a purple phrase as of yesterday (keep that "Benita's going girly"
thought to yourself now). Heck, I can't be bothered too much thinking
about what colour coding should 'best reflect the personality of Benita' either.
Shrugs. Purple it shalt be. Silencio.

First things first - Wenyao my dear brother-in-Christ,
you are officially 19!(Photo by: CHRISTINACHANGKANGFENG)

Thank you for always being either 30 steps or an sms or an msn away.
Proud to have Mr Logic-aeronautical-freak-organised-smart as a friend I know for the keeps. Continue growing in the LORD and walk His ways, always!!

Mood's been pretty calm despite the unrest threatening to fall upon me.
No matter how worried I get, after a few rants to a couple of close ones and prayer, my heart settles. A smile and laughter always makes things easier for both me and the people around I guess.

Quote of the day:

"Music is not a gift from God to man - our VOICES and TALENTS are.
Music is but a concotion that man makes up with these and
offers it back to Him - as a gift."

14-hour music seminar in church tomorrow from 8am. It's going to be radical!
Darn, Jenn, should have invited you along. (: I can't wait!


Some things will just never change..

Even cockles aren't spared by the SG Police. Wholesome!

The Straits Times March 10, Friday 6 S'poreans, 33 illegals nabbed in raid

"The immigration offenders had been engaged to shuck cockles while holed up in 13 HDB flats in Marsiling."

"...Under the Wholesome Meat and Fish Act, any person guilty of using unlicensed premises or permitting such premises to be used as a food processing establishment can be be fined a maximum of $10,000, or jailed for up to 12 months or both.

All the cockles were seized and destroyed by AVA."

Tut, tut.

As the Chinese saying goes,
"How many true best friends can one find
in a lifetime?"

Ahma, this is for you!

No effects, just a bit of dodging on the sign and blackening of the sky. Poor quality due to poor hand phone camera. :(

So, Indulge.
(I got a B&J's keychain free! :D)

When things take a turn

That's three issues to hit the extended family.
Years of peace... I can only fall on my knees and pray.

Oh Father, words fail me.


This will be a time of trial and tribulation;
but I pray that Your will will prevail. Let us be accepting towards
what ever that comes our way, that we will learn, discern, and be forgiving towards
each other - just as You have shown us Your mercy and grace. Lord, forgive us if we have sinned against You. Bring us all back to You, that we will once again flourish and love one another as You loved us.

All things work together for the good of those who love You, and Father, You know that we love You. I pray that You will bring us even stronger together with You as our Cornerstone. Don't forsake us, oh Lord.

What is this compared to Job's struggles and suffering? But grant us Job's perseverance and faith. How weak we are. What You give, You can take away - but Lord, hear my intercession. I know You will. Give us all wisdom to pull through this.

Thank You, Father.
In Jesus' name I pray - Amen.

"But exhort one another every day,
as long as it is called 'today',
that none of you may be
hardened by the deceitfulness of sin."

- Hebrews 3:13

Of course.
There's much better things in life like God, music, and tennis.
Three days in a row... Ha.
Somebody, put a leash on me.

maison noir

There once was a girl.

Armed with nothing and all of innocence of sixteen and three months,
and finding naught with a year and a half,
she was left sparser than twice a time-spent bottle of whiskey.


"First, there is desire. Then, passion. Then, suspicion.
Jealousy. Anger. Betrayal.
When love is for the highest bidder, there can be no trust.
Without trust, there can be no love.
Jealousy, yes, jealousy will drive you mad."

[Cue Deception, Disbelief, Hurt and Blinded Hearts]

The crowd rejoices; the poor fool's out.

(Out of her misery.)

the end

You Are Half Baked Ice Cream

In reality, you're just a quarter baked

What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?

P.S. I FOUND HALF-BAKED IN SHELL STATION!!! ARGHH!! ITS IN A BAR - A BAR, YOU HEAR ME!?
My goodness gracious me!

Cookie dough ice cream on a brownie base drenched in milk chocolate.

It's mine tomorrow, I promise.

WAH LAU EH I JUST STEPPED ON A COCKROACH
SOMEONE ALREADY KILLED IT WITH SPRAY
BUT DIDN'T SWEEP IT UP AND THROW IT AWAY!!
WAH LAU EH SUPER SWAY
I'M GOING TO SOAK MY FEET IN DETTOL NOW.


RAWWWWR!

see the cockroach, i not scared not scared la..MAIEEAHEE!

MaieeahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

One of the many reasons
why I LOVE
Carter Beauford, Dave Matthews Band
and Victor Wooten!

This test is quite cool!
and..

My results..

Sometimes

It's a give and take.

If it means that someone else wins but another has to go through yet
one more bout of struggling within, then it shall be done.
Not that it would mean some great, magnanimous act - but mending unseen
fragments in silence is inevitable in relationships.
Does one allow the cloth to sew a larger hole?
Or let the layers of the woven, thicken? I don't know.

Expect less.

Weaver, find your thread.

---

On another note, I read a blog of a certain person currently teaching at my ex (now verbally non-existent) secondary school.

We really need more of teachers like these around.
_ _ H S is going down the drain.
So is the band. Degenerating generation, ha.